I am bored.  As in, nothing interests me. At all. 

I have all this free time, and am just wasting it on nothing. I just feel like theres so much more I could be doing with my life. Actually, I KNOW I could be doing so much more. How did I get in to such a horrible funk?

I blame my medication *shakes fist at Celexa*, but thats just an excuse. I'm aware of the apathy, so I can do something about it. I feel like I can't even read, because nothing interests me. I've started so many books over the past year, and just can't seem to get into any of them. All different types of books. Just... nothing. 

It doesn't help that I'm super lonely, too, and almost all of my free time is spent alone. I know I should try and do things during that time to improve my life and make myself more interesting so I can actually make more friends, but I just don't. Then, because I spend so much time alone, when I AM around people, I feel totally awkward and have a hard time socializing and building new friendships. This past 2 years has probably been the most isolating and lonely time of my whole life. I am over it. 

I guess its my fault that I moved away from the little nest egg of friends I DID have built up, and foolishly thought that somehow moving to a new city would make me bust out of my shell and make all these new pals. I mean, I have met a ton of new people, exclusively through derby, but those relationships don't extend beyond practice, because everyone has their own lives. I guess it is what I make it. Its not like I actually invite anyone to do anything. I just assume everyones always busy and wouldn't want to hang out with me.

I just had a little pop up appear from my calender, reminding me that my Moms birthday is tomorrow (the 14th). Guess its time to remove the "reoccurring event" status on that. Its not like I'd ever forget her birthdate, and even if I forgot it as it passed occasionally, its not like she'd get hurt now.

My teeth hurt. I work tomorrow. Goodnight, Blogger.